Can I Wear my Jersey’s Again?

I am sitting at work today just missing sports.

Maybe it is because I have been having weird sport dreams or because I just want to run around kicking or catching a ball. Who knows…

For some background info, I played softball and soccer. For soccer I played midfield. I was primarily left or center mid, but for some reason my coach looked at me and thought this girl is a runner. I am not for your info, but for some reason, soccer brought out a runner in me.

softball 2

Now for softball I played outfield, second base, short stop and caught a little. Again, coaches looked at me and thought runner. So that is how I made this transition from being a second baseman to being an outfielder. I would like to think it was also because I was really good at tracking fly balls! But, again, who know..

Since the summer before my freshman year of college I have always played sports. All throughout the year I had some kind of sport going on or some kind of conditioning going on, so when I got to college and had nothing going on, it was extremely weird.


So now that I am working behind a desk for forty hours a week, I am finding myself missing sports more and more. I miss always having something active that I was doing and being around my friends and the competitiveness of it. Sure, I played flag football with my sorority and it was competitive but it was also intramural and they were strict on rules.

It is so hard to sit behind a desk all day, so  I thought when I first started that after work I would have all kinds of energy when I got home that I would start getting more stuff done and possibly start using our community center membership, yeah right. I go home and I am EXHAUSTED! Literally, it takes everything out of me to get up off the couch to get a bowl of cereal. Seriously, what I think I miss most is  being young and having energy and I am not even that old.


Sports were always just such a huge part of my life, that I think I still have not fully adjusted to not playing. Like it is a bizarre feeling, but I am still waiting for a text from my soccer coach asking when I plan to start showing up for conditioning! (The single worst thing that I tried dodging every summer)

I guess what I miss most about sports is the cut throat mind set I could get myself in before every soccer game. I was extremely intense during games. There was none of this “Play to have fun” stuff. No. I am there and I am there to win. At any cost.


During practice though… Now that was a different story. I was the biggest goofball on the field. I admit, I was the first to complain on a hot day that I DID NOT want to go to practice and run around a field for hours, but once I got there, it was easy to get into the swing of things but practices also required us to have fun. 

For softball it was the dedication that I miss. I played year round for at least three years. It was a very intense lifestyle and at one point I was on, I believe, three different softball teams. The travel, the no weekend off, the unimaginable heat and the pant you had to wear were some of the hardest things. But in the end it was so rewarding. When it was the last game of my life that I would play, I cried like a baby.

softball 3

The coaches I have had in my life have made this impact in my life and they always hold a special spot in teaching me how to play. They were the people who sometimes saw me more than my own parents. They took care of me when I got injured and did everything they could to get me motivated. Whether it was yelling at me to get my butt moving or cheering me on. They were some of the best people because they put up with my extremely slow running.

It’s not that I don’t want to be active in my life, I want to be active.  I want to  have that desire to work out, but I can’t find that because there is no sport involved. (If that makes sense)  At least when I was playing sports there was a reason for me to be running. There was competition driving me. Now, being twenty-two it is hard.

soccer 3

One thing I can’t wait for though is coaching. Literally I have this dream to take a group of girls from the start of their softball years, and get them all the way to high school and watch them be athletes. I want to watch them fall in love with sports and discover themselves on and off the field. I want to be their mentor and it is something I hope to accomplish in life.

Sports was a huge part of my life and right now I think of how if I were still playing travel softball, I would be starting to prep for this weekend’s tournament. I would be finding all of my uniforms, packing extra socks in my bag, getting a cooler ready and having practice. I think of soccer and at this time during those years I was dodging having to go to conditioning and I would be getting excited to start the season again.


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