Archive | July 2016

Can I Wear my Jersey’s Again?

I am sitting at work today just missing sports.

Maybe it is because I have been having weird sport dreams or because I just want to run around kicking or catching a ball. Who knows…

For some background info, I played softball and soccer. For soccer I played midfield. I was primarily left or center mid, but for some reason my coach looked at me and thought this girl is a runner. I am not for your info, but for some reason, soccer brought out a runner in me.

softball 2

Now for softball I played outfield, second base, short stop and caught a little. Again, coaches looked at me and thought runner. So that is how I made this transition from being a second baseman to being an outfielder. I would like to think it was also because I was really good at tracking fly balls! But, again, who know..

Since the summer before my freshman year of college I have always played sports. All throughout the year I had some kind of sport going on or some kind of conditioning going on, so when I got to college and had nothing going on, it was extremely weird.

soccer

So now that I am working behind a desk for forty hours a week, I am finding myself missing sports more and more. I miss always having something active that I was doing and being around my friends and the competitiveness of it. Sure, I played flag football with my sorority and it was competitive but it was also intramural and they were strict on rules.

It is so hard to sit behind a desk all day, so  I thought when I first started that after work I would have all kinds of energy when I got home that I would start getting more stuff done and possibly start using our community center membership, yeah right. I go home and I am EXHAUSTED! Literally, it takes everything out of me to get up off the couch to get a bowl of cereal. Seriously, what I think I miss most is  being young and having energy and I am not even that old.

softball

Sports were always just such a huge part of my life, that I think I still have not fully adjusted to not playing. Like it is a bizarre feeling, but I am still waiting for a text from my soccer coach asking when I plan to start showing up for conditioning! (The single worst thing that I tried dodging every summer)

I guess what I miss most about sports is the cut throat mind set I could get myself in before every soccer game. I was extremely intense during games. There was none of this “Play to have fun” stuff. No. I am there and I am there to win. At any cost.

soccer2

During practice though… Now that was a different story. I was the biggest goofball on the field. I admit, I was the first to complain on a hot day that I DID NOT want to go to practice and run around a field for hours, but once I got there, it was easy to get into the swing of things but practices also required us to have fun. 

For softball it was the dedication that I miss. I played year round for at least three years. It was a very intense lifestyle and at one point I was on, I believe, three different softball teams. The travel, the no weekend off, the unimaginable heat and the pant you had to wear were some of the hardest things. But in the end it was so rewarding. When it was the last game of my life that I would play, I cried like a baby.

softball 3

The coaches I have had in my life have made this impact in my life and they always hold a special spot in teaching me how to play. They were the people who sometimes saw me more than my own parents. They took care of me when I got injured and did everything they could to get me motivated. Whether it was yelling at me to get my butt moving or cheering me on. They were some of the best people because they put up with my extremely slow running.

It’s not that I don’t want to be active in my life, I want to be active.  I want to  have that desire to work out, but I can’t find that because there is no sport involved. (If that makes sense)  At least when I was playing sports there was a reason for me to be running. There was competition driving me. Now, being twenty-two it is hard.

soccer 3

One thing I can’t wait for though is coaching. Literally I have this dream to take a group of girls from the start of their softball years, and get them all the way to high school and watch them be athletes. I want to watch them fall in love with sports and discover themselves on and off the field. I want to be their mentor and it is something I hope to accomplish in life.

Sports was a huge part of my life and right now I think of how if I were still playing travel softball, I would be starting to prep for this weekend’s tournament. I would be finding all of my uniforms, packing extra socks in my bag, getting a cooler ready and having practice. I think of soccer and at this time during those years I was dodging having to go to conditioning and I would be getting excited to start the season again.

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The Beach

Hi guys!

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, but I was on vacation! My mom, little brother and I went to Ocean City in Maryland. It was a really nice and relaxing trip, despite the fact that I got a cold the second day we were there. We had a lot of fun though. We sat on the beach, sat by the pool, drank some fun drinks, walked the boardwalk about a thousand times and road a four-person bike. This is not going to be a long drawn out post just because I just got back and trying to get back into the swing of things, but I hope you enjoy the pictures! 🙂

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My brother and I on the first day!

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Selfie on the beach of course!

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The four person bike.

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Collecting Shells! My favorite thing!

My Dear Kappa Days…

If you read my “About Me” blog post, then you read that I was in a sorority. I decided to dedicate my blog today on my dear Kappa days.

fam bam

I am a Kappa Kappa Gamma. I was initiated in fall of 2013. I have an amazing big who is there for me always. We may not talk every day, but I know that I can go to her and she will be there for me. I have two little’s. One who, unfortunately, had to drop due to transferring schools. That was hard to lose my first little, but she makes me proud in all she accomplishes. Then I got my second little, and she is my pride and joy. She is driven and possess qualities I can only wish to have. She is still active, and it was extremely difficult leaving her to go Alum. Having Kiki, my big, and Alexis and Kayla, my little’s has given me the opportunity to have the sister I never had and they all empower me to be better. Life in Kappa without them, well I can’t imagine my time in Kappa without them. They each came at a time I needed them and I thank them each from the bottom of my heart for putting up with my crazy self.

my little

Now time for the back story.  I went through recruitment by myself, but I had a friend in a chapter on campus, so that kind of inspired me to join. I was terrified because you see in movies that you are doomed to be judged on everything you do. So tried my best to be perfect during each house. I wanted them all to like me. I went through recruitment for myself but also for my Nana, who was sick at the time. She told me that I would be living by our song “I Hope You Dance” if I went through recruitment, so that just sealed the deal.

On bid day when I opened my letter and was told that I was a Kappa, my heart was full. I ran to my new home away from home  and was on cloud nine joining all of my new sisters that day. I was given this amazing opportunity and it was the start of the best years of my life.

kkg

Two days after bid day, my Nana passed away. Kappa was my last gift from her.

The only thing that got me through that and was the thing that made me crawl out of bed was Kappa. That organization gave me a reason to do my hair some day. I can’t even imagine where  I would be in life if I didn’t have Kappa to help me heal. So I have Kappa to thank for saving me from sinking into a deep depression and God only knows what else.

I have the girls to thank for being there for me when I needed someone most. I had seventy some girl text me, message me, tweet me all saying “I am here for you Tyler.” That was amazing to me. I was barely a member yet, barely knew anyone and they were there for me. It reassured me that I had made the right choice.

tate

I have Kappa to thank for a lot actually. I have it to thank for giving me some of the best roommates, the best friends I have today, the best memories of college like joining a flag football team, going out to bars with my sisters, meeting tons of people I normally would not have and so much more. Kappa really was the reason I broke out of my shell and helped contribute to the woman I am today.

Despite it being the best experience, Kappa was a lot of work sometimes and there were moments when I thought “Why?”

Then I would go to the house and sit in the basement with my sisters and I was always reminded in that very moment why I joined. This was a home for me. This was the ability to walk in and feel instantly safe. There are seventy some girls and at least one person has gone through something like what I was going through. There were days I wanted to rip my hair out because I had a test the next morning and instead of being a home studying, I was at an event, but my sisters always made it worth it.

lil

You have this endless support no matter the time of day. You can rely on Kappa’s present and past for guidance and that meant so much to me. Your sisters are your sisters. They are not perfect and flawless 24/7. We all had out moments, but somehow we made it work and we accepted people for who they were. That was what made Kappa extremely unique and special. We did not care what color you were, your sexual orientation, what clothes you wore, how your hair looked, if you wore sweat pants everyday or what size jeans you wore. We loved you because you loved us.

Kappa had its moments when it was too much, but all in all it was the best part of my college experience. It gave me sisters, it gave me love, it gave me support but most of all it gave me so much more confidence in myself.

I have now started my journey on being a Kappa alum so stay tuned on what that hold for not only me, but my little Lambda chapter.

kk

I Only Eat Six Foods

Yes, you did read that correctly. I only eat six foods.

  • Mcdonald’s French Fries (Literally only their French fries)
  • Peanut Butter Sandwich
  • Cereal
  • Waffles
  • Hot Pretzels
  • French Toast Sticks

Then of course I eat junk food like popcorn and ice cream but those are my main foods.

The look on your face while you are reading this is probably a “WTF?!” look. So let me explain.

When my parents switched their precious baby girl, me, to table foods I would gag at the touch of foods like hot dogs. So being first time parents my parents freaked out. They took me to all kinds of doctors and all said the same thing- “She will grow out of it.” Jokes on them. I am now 22 years old and look at me now. I still eat the same foods I always have.

It was not until I was a freshman in college that I actually discovered that what is wrong with me is actually a disorder. Up until then it was always the same response “I am just really picky” and people always said things like “Well you can fix picky” or “Haven’t you tried anything” and it was always so hard to explain that I just couldn’t.

Then I got a phone call from my Nana and my life changed. All I remember is her going “Tyler, I read an article and it’s you!” I was so confused until I got to my dorm and looked the article up and read it. I started to cry because it was like a wave of relief that I was going to be okay and that what was wrong with me, it was okay.

I had Selective Eating Disorder.

Having a name to tell people has given me all kinds of confidence. I used to hate having to go out to eat with people because I would get so self-conscious, it was miserable. As time has gone on, I have learned to embrace this about me, but it still has its moments when it is the most frustrating thing. Like when my boyfriend wants to get pizza and I can’t enjoy that with him.

Reading this article was everything. It gave me a glimpse into my future, and my future is okay. I remember when I was younger one of my so called “friends” told me that I would never be able to have kids because I couldn’t eat. I was devastated because having kids is a priority in my life and her telling me that I was actually scared. In the article this woman, who is just like me, has two children and had healthy pregnancies. One of her children is just like her; I have concerns about that because I would not wish this on anyone, so the thought of possibly passing this down to my children is a huge concern. But… I guess there are worst things in life than them being picky.

To kind of explain to you what is wrong or make you kind of understand I tell you all what I go through with the thought of putting a piece of food in my mouth. Now you all know that on Instagram there are the “foodies” that constantly post delicious looking food that makes you guys really want to try. Well I don’t have that. I can look at food and have zero drive to put that in my mouth. It just looks like something on a plate. So I have this like mental block that prevents me from wanting to try new foods. Then I also have this thing where if I imagine putting a new piece of food in my mouth, I have a mini anxiety attack. I start to panic and freak out, it just does not go so well.

I have accepted this of myself. Sure, it is tough and annoying, but by this point I am an expert at figuring out how to handle this. My doctors have run tests, and I am perfectly healthy. I just don’t eat common food. I have started to kind of venture out of my comfort zone and try new foods. I have tried Oreo balls that have cream cheese, which I would have never eaten if I had known there was cream cheese. I have tried Poptarts. I want to try bagels, so that is next. Now this may not seem like a big deal, but to me this is huge progress. Brandon even wants to eventually get me comfortable enough to eventually try pizza, so stay tuned on my progress with food!

My Future Fur Baby Dream

I want to be a fur mommy.

puppy

I know I am crazy in the eyes of my family, but there is nothing I want more in life right now than to be a mom to a puppy. I realize they are a lot of work and time consuming, but honestly, I want that. I want that responsibility and to have the affection that you receive from them. I know they don’t stay puppies forever and that is okay! I want to have a fur friend to walk through all stages in life from now on with me.

I have had pets, don’t get me wrong, but I was young and did not realize the huge job that it was to have this animal in my life. I have had dogs, cats, guinea pigs, hamsters, turtles, fish… You name it, I’ve probably had it.

I just have such a passion for animals and watching them learn a different way and be something completely different than a human and still can completely function on its own. It’s amazing. Like, I watch my boyfriend’s dog, Lokie, and he is basically human. He has expressions, he has a way to communicate with us and understands us and it blows my mind.

So that is why I have decided that once I move out I plan to live in an apartment that allows for pets. Not just because I really want a puppy, but also because I have to have a way to get Lokie in my house 😉  I mean come on… Look at him!!

loks

My top dog breeds that I would want are easy: (mind you this is my personal preference)

  1. French bull dog
  2. Shih Tzu
  3. Dachshund
  4. English Bulldog
  5. Cocker Spaniel
  6. Golden Retriever
  7. Pug
  8. Chocolate Lab
  9. Mini Australian Shepard
  10. Corgi
  11. St. Bernard
  12. Great Pyrenees

Now, obviously some of these are not going to fit in a tiny apartment, so I will probably have to wait until I am older to possibly to have one, but these are my top twelve dog breeds that I love. Right now, if I had my pick, I would want a little Frenchie.

I am not encouraging people to shop for a specific breed, and I don’t want people to take it that I “shop” for a dog rather than go to an overcrowded kennel and adopt. I am just saying that these are my favorite puppy breeds. I don’t know what my future hold in terms of pets, I just know that someday I want to be a mom to a fur baby. Whether it is one I just happen to come across or one I walk into a kennel and fall in love with. I am open to all kinds.

Some say I am crazy for wanting a puppy in my early twenties, some say I should just get it over with and adopt a puppy. Regardless, I am just not ready. One day I will be! So stay tuned and hopefully you all will get to meet my future fur baby.

Judge Me.. I Have Tattoos

So I guess it is time to confess to my family that I have three tattoos. Most know don’t get me wrong. They are not the easiest to hide, but what they do not know is the actual meaning behind them. I just wanted to take some time to tell everyone who does not know and ask people if they have meaning behind their tattoos.

My first tattoo that I got is located on my ribs. I know, ouch, but to me it was actually not that bad. It is the tattoo with the most significance because it is for my Nana. She had told me when I graduated high school to live by this song, and when she passed away that was all I had left of her. So now I carry her around with me everywhere. Granted, if she knew that I got this for her should would probably kill me, but this is something I needed to do in order to keep her here with me.

tat 1

My second tattoo is on the top of my foot. This was my more creative tattoo. It is written in my mom, dad and little brothers handwriting. This is a phrase we have been saying since the time I was born, but the actual significance is that my family is everything to me. They have stuck by my through thick and thin and this tattoo allows me to remember that. Having it written in their handwriting was more for me being able to trust them because I was putting this on my body forever, so they did well! (“Love you” is written in my moms handwriting, “like a” is written in my dads and “Crazy” is written in my little brothers)

tat 2

My last tattoo is located on the inside of my ankle. This tattoo was an impulse tattoo but something I have always wanted. Many have thought I got it just to get one, but in reality I put a lot of thought behind this. When I came to college I was a biology major and wanted to become a marine biologist. I was so passionate about helping animals, particularly whales and dolphins, so this is the message behind my tattoo. I still love whales and dolphins, I would love to be able to be a marine biologist, but that is not feasible for me. So I got this tattoo to represent my desire to help them in any way that I can.

tat 3

I love tattoos. I love the story or the message behind them. I have three, all with meaning, and plan to hopefully get more. Both of my parents have tattoos, my mom has smaller ones and my dad has larger ones, so for me to get tattoos was really no big deal in their eyes. Like I said, I do play to get more and I have ideas that I like, but most need to wait until after I get married because I am personally choosing to not have my tattoos pictured in my wedding photos. Again, that is a personal preference. I just wanted to share my love for my tattoos and the message/meaning behind them so everyone in my life can understand that there is a purpose for them. I was not some crazy college kid who did not put any thought behind them. I love mine and will be a proud eighty year old with tattoos.